Dark times have hit me.
In moments like this I usually curl up into myself, but now I am reaching out to you.
To you my brother, to you my sister, I am reaching out to YOU.
Please don’t push me away, don’t let my fear of being alone become a reality.
I need your help to get me by. I need you to be honest with me about what you see in my life. Because although you don’t know all of what I feel, you can see when my feelings become real. You see when everything that is built up is released onto others unaware of whats inside. I wonder if they even care whats in here…
Just give me a moment, a moment of your time, so I can pour me out before you so you can process through the grime.
All that is evil in me now lies before you and before God.
Listen to Him with your listening ear, and help me understand where I must go from here.
I know I don’t sound together and I don’t sound alright, but I’m somehow at peace, completely broken before you and in His sight.
Wait! Where are you going? Why are you walking away?
This is the moment where I need your presence to stay sane!
Don’t leave me behind completely exposed, because my “sins are to great” you say as you look down your nose.
I need you brother to help me stay sane. I need you sister to say its gunna be ok.
Now is not the time to leave me behind, when I so desperately need the arms of Jesus wrapped around me.
I just need someone to talk to, someone who really cares, not some pompous saint who looks down on me and stares.
With each footstep that your taking my life slowly is fading, but you don’t care because you can’t see. You have your back turned on me.
I think I’ve seen a small glimpse and felt a little of the pain.
When God turned His back on Jesus as, there on the cross, the lamb was slain. When God left Him He was alone. To take on all evil, to bear every once of its pain.
That sounds like Hell to me. Much worse than the hell I think I’m living in. And yet I hurt right where I am, this hell where people don’t even care. Where people don’t stare with kind eyes, but eyes full of despise.
I don’t see Jesus in them.
With no hands and feet to comfort me in times of need how can I push on?
God understand me, please don’t condemn me, but I just can’t take it anymore.
My last hope just walked away.