How do I start this story? How do I tell you what you already know? What can I say to you that will help you see more clearly what is happening to your heart?
OPEN YOUR EYES. Open those spheres that give you away every day. The ones that speak volumes of all the fears you’ve accumulated after all these years, when not a single word is said.
You’re still so young, but your eyes tell a different story. They say you’re almost done, wanting to give in to a life with a predictable script. One rated NC-17 for its grey scenes to much for a young child to bear. Letting the desires of others warp your soul, leaving scars on your heart that will keep you away from the best that is yet to come.
But when you think about the past it always brings you to tears.
The sound of silence as your innocence was taken.
When you couldn’t find the strength to make that two letter word fall from your lips to stop what was happening.
The sound of your heart shattering over and over on the tiles as he and he and he walked out of your life.
The pain of falling hard, but being a ghost to the one you wanted to notice you the most.
The feeling of warmth and safety as your hand takes his hand, fingers entwined like your bodies in the morning after Love is unchained.
The sound of laughter as the first good thing to walk into your life in years holds you close. You dreamed of this moment, but never believed that dreams could come true.
His soft words cuddle your soul and you cease to hold back the love you’ve tried to hide all these years.
Then you hear the sound of tears falling into a lake at your feet. You realize that you can’t let go of the he and he and he that walked out of your life over and over again.
The look of confusion on his face as you push Him away.
The sound of the door slamming on his face as he stands at the door of your heart pleading with you to not turn him away. “Let me walk with you through this. Let me Love you.”
But the sound of your heart beating in your chest drowns out his pleas.
“I have to do this alone,” You say.
Just like everything else you’ve done in your life. You push away those that you care about, and those that care about you, in the time when you need them the most.
You are the only one that should define the path you take.
I pray that you will see what is happening in the present before the past defines how bright you will be in the days to come.